Job Fair Woes and Cognitive Dissonance
My school is holding a job fair this week. The placement office gave us resume templates we can use as guides and a meaty list of participating companies. They even coined the whole shindig New Directions. A tad short on creativity there, I say. This journal entry isn’t about how management-centric the job fair is, which is its perpetual criticism. The song everyone is hearing right now whether they like it or not is about job availability as it’s dictated by industry demand and a whole basket of trends such as globalization, business innovations, and technological progress. Management majors are in vogue. We all have to accept the state of music right now and hope in great comebacks at this point.
I don’t know how high the percentage rate of actual employment via handing company representatives a summary of all my work in college (real and slightly exaggerated in shameless honesty) and asking them if they shoulder a fraction of the tuition for an MBA. While I doubt the fair’s efficacy employment-wise, I don’t question its usefulness and convenience. Although it’s a testament to how Ateneo is so keen on chopping my baby carrots for me, mashing them until they feel silky on the tongue, and feeding me like the pampered middle class Filipino that I am, I must admit that I appreciate the powers at work that make job searching easier, even at the expense of physically learning the harder lessons of life post-graduation, I suppose. Hey, if you’re hungry, why slap the hand that wants to feed you without foxy ulterior motives? And even if there are foxy ulterior motives, they were already accounted for in my tuition.
At first I thought it was all very exciting, but after a bit of research and reflection, I now find myself stuck in a gray area. I made a list of the companies I’m interested to apply for. Sometimes I see potential, so I feel as though my life has some semblance of conflict-less direction, but life isn’t that peachy, is it? As someone who has survived several rounds of theology Jesuit-style over the years and actively pursued a minor in development management, handing my credentials to companies like Coca-Cola Bottlers Inc. and KFC-Mister Donut seems like a betrayal of everything substantial I learned from Ateneo. Of the Other, of vocation, of the marginalized, of structural sin, of dominant rationalities, of careerism, of tao para sa kapwa, of magis. Where does all of this fit in a career selling variations of the Double Down, pushing for more shelf space for purple Diet Coke, or promoting rubbery donuts that taste like sweet cardboard? After all that rousing, life-changing, perspective-shifting, and wounding education, do I really want to spend decades of my life selling sugar water and fast food?
I thought going corporate regardless of the product was all I wanted. To be financially independent and to maintain, at the very least, my comfortable lifestyle right now fueled my bigger life choices. Nearly three years ago, I decided to put my mouth where the money is. Now, I’m not so sure if the money is enough of an incentive to keep going at the rate I plan to go. I can tell right now, however, that it will never be enough to make me feel as if I truly lived my life. I know I still want the money, though, but something bigger, something deeper is brewing here. Like a storm. Like a tempest.
Most of my morning yesterday saw my whole existence and essence agreeing with something that Bobby Guev said: “Gusto kong maniwala na masarap maging Atenista dahil masakit maging Atenista.” And that was it. Powerful. That is both the problem and the reward of being an Atenean today. That encapsulated everything I felt, thought of, believed in, and loved in Ateneo as an Atenean. It isn’t just a place where I would spend four years of my life mixing irrelevant lessons with relevant ones. It isn’t just a name that will get its graduates to the top of the recruitment pile. It has become a thorn at my side, disrupting all my plans, changing the way I saw the world, wounding me into yearning to become more. It was a thorn I gladly welcomed, a thorn I don’t want to make another decision without. How do I marry capitalism with development? Profit with meaning? Earning progressively with living for what’s compassionate, what’s good, and what’s just?
In a few years, if I end up as a pliant hypocrite in charge of calculating the returns of offering seasonal discounts if a consumer buys three two-liter bottles of some fizzy drink devoid of any and all nutritional value, I’ll remember this journal entry and my Atenean education and open myself to all the shame of what I reduced myself to, what I allowed myself to become. Fried chicken and soft drinks will not become the stuff of my vocation. I will never forget the disorientation and enlightenment this wound has inflicted.
I don’t have any of the answers I need yet, even though I feel like I should. I don’t know where I’ll end up in a few months or what I’ll be doing, but I am sure of one thing out of all the confusion: Nasaktan ako. Nasasaktan pa rin ako ngayon. Habangbuhay ako masasaktan. And it is sublime. It is necessary. It is life-giving.
Where do I go from here?
What an excellent post. Keep it up.
Thank you, sir.
Some blunt and unsolicited advice for you:
Quit being idealistic and do your own thing. You’re thinking too much — JUST DO IT. Learn as much as you can now and apply it to the real world. Start a business. Create some jobs. Join a program. Lead people. Be the change you wanna see in the world. Don’t just do it like a boss; BE THE BOSS. Nobody in the real world gives a fuck if you’re an Atenean or not, and here’s why: people look at YOU and not your school. YOU are the product of your Ateneo education; you have to wave your OWN banner, not Ateneo’s. YOU are your own brand name.
I’m from a higher batch than yours and trust me, you haven’t felt real pain yet. If you must plod through the corporate world for a few years, do it so you’ll get wounded. Do it so the fire in you grow stronger, and you’ll end up hating the soulless corporate machine so much you just wanna destroy it and watch it burn. It’s gonna sting, but whatever. Embrace it. Fight it. Turn it around, and help others out of that same rut you were in. Those others are feeling the same existential pain you are feeling now; THEY are the reason for your being a man/woman for others.
In the end you’ll finally find what you’re looking for. But it will hurt like a bitch, and it won’t be easy.
Now go out there and take that leap of faith.
Hello, you.
First of all, thank you for the advice. And second, quit being idealistic? Never.
I don’t see a pressing reason why I should. My ideals don’t grossly deter me from keeping my eyes open to reality. In fact, they make the contrast between the real world right now and what I want to change about it in the present and in the future so striking, it made me write this journal entry in the first place. I understand any ideal carries that sensibility of unknown, unattainable perfection, but why should I stop trying to fight for that? Why would anyone stop aiming high before their feet lift off the ground? Towards the unknown, the novel, the promising. My idealism and I are comfortable where we are right now, and we still have room for people who want to join the party.
“Start a business. Create some jobs. Join a program. Lead people. Be the change you wanna see in the world. Don’t just do it like a boss; BE THE BOSS.” All easier said than done. Isn’t becoming the change I want to see in the world one of the most idealistic things you can say to me? I would love to. Yet you tell me to drop it. These decisions aren’t made on leaps of faith. It takes an inordinate amount of thought, humility, and caution to realize these things. I wish I can please you more here right now, but it’s important for me to reflect on why I’m so motivated to do all these things. The confusion I feel at this point of my life wasn’t easy to articulate. This isn’t a pragmatic piece of work; it’s terribly personal.
I’m not actively looking for pain and battle scars when I graduate. If I must incur anything, I can only hope that whatever it is, it comes with a relevant lesson and a good story. There are a multitude of ways to arrive at realizations without being unsettled in any sense. Feeling some naive, infant pain after my four years in Ateneo isn’t I intended to share. I found the saying “Ateneo has wounded me.” very beautiful and very telling of what our philosophy and theology classes could do for students. It’s wonderful. Hindi ito palaliman ng sugat. From where I’m standing, it hurts to be an Atenean because I allowed myself to be uprooted from the shaded, narcissistic plot I settled in years ago. I was gradually introduced to the Other. Particularly the marginalized. It hurt more than I expected it to. And I’m relieved it did because it should have. That’s rewarding for me.
Even if no one will care if I’m an Atenean or not in the real world, I will. I agree with you that I’m the product of my Ateneo education; I do have my own banner to wave. But allow me the pleasure of giving thanks to the institution–with its Ignatian spirituality, philosophy, theology, magis, and amazing educators–that made me just a little more selfless, more aware, more humane. People will look at me, and they’ll know I grew up with my head and my heart nourished with love (There, I said it. For all the economists and development people out there.) in part because of my stay in Ateneo. You have no idea how much this school and its philosophy means to me now, how much it has sincerely changed me. I probably won’t even do it justice even if I tried harder.
I’ll learn the lessons I should learn when I can learn them. I expect to get jarred, stretched, and disappointed. I know it’s going to hurt. I’ll work just as hard to flourish with what I believe in so strongly now. If I change in the future, then I change. But it’s going to take a lot more than brunt, unsolicited advice right now to make me feel, think, and live otherwise.
Thank you for articulating what I cannot put to words
Glad to be of service.
^^^ I think this article ain’t being too idealistic. This is reality. And by the way, quitting idealism results to overdosing to a belief that only a single reality exists. That this world is the only world, and that none can do anything about it other than going with the flow. Just my 2 cents. I’m to sleepy to continue typing.
I like what you said about imagined worlds. This world could always use more inspiration and thinking-out-of-the-boxy-world people.
It’s great to be idealistic. Without your ideals and values, who will you be? It’s understandable that you find yourself not having the answers at this point in time. But you’ll get there even if it takes for you to do it step by step or instantly. Even in the corporate world, you may just surprise yourself and find that the company you are part of can actually serve both of your goals in life: to make it out there and to be that man/woman for others we’ve been taught to be in the process. Don’t lose hope. It may take a long winding road but that’s actually the vital part – to find out and experience where you don’t belong in order to realize where you do.
You will eventually find yourself and that is the greatest endeavor you will ever have to take for the next chapter of your life. For the four long years you’ve bled for this school, Ateneo is already in you so just be you.
I was reading a blog entry a few months ago, and the author thinks people close volumes instead of chapters of their lives. A chapter can be so short, but volumes, on the other hand, have more depth, more of a story. I think volumes encapsulate more of that feeling you get when you finish something in your life. I always get so stricken when I finish a book. I feel attached to it still, but I know I have to put it down to go on another adventure.
But I do like that continuous journey of finding answers and finding myself with and through finding other people. I really hope I become a part of a company that have values in line with mine. I talked to the sales director at Bosch, and he said the same thing. I’m looking for a work environment that doesn’t only sustain me, but nurtures and challenges all my aspirations.
“It may take a long winding road but that’s actually the vital part – to find out and experience where you don’t belong in order to realize where you do.” I love this. Life is such an exciting irony sometimes. Thank you for keeping me motivated, Rex.
Hello!
First off, a short introduction. We met a few years ago in a high school (far far away) and I remember you.
A friend of mine shared a link to this entry. As a 2011 graduate, I understand the confusion (and the spirit) that fueled this entry and for the past few months (nearly a year, actually) I’ve been struggling with the same sentiments and living a life of compromise.
If there is anything to offer, only this: an Ateneo education has helped form your understanding of the corporations, the non-profit organizations, the government bureaus, and the Filipino people. There’s much to be said about living a satisfying life — and, at this point in time, more than I can handle in terms of blog entries relaying advice about getting there — but at the end of it, there’s compromise. I’ve come to believe that’s something only the god-forsaken “real world” can teach, when it offers you an opportunity in one hand, a challenge in another, and afterwards a rope to hang yourself with. Often, what you choose will offer up its own frustrations, its own mediocrity — kaya mahirap maging Atenista.
I’m really proud of how this article was written, articulating how much confusion, anxiety, and most of all, the unrelenting desire your education inspired (ignited? kaasar naman).
If you don’t find the answers, I hope you never stop asking questions. I hope it never stops.
-kyra
I remember you, Kyra. I even run into you sometimes, but I was always afraid you wouldn’t remember me. I never forget a person who asks for a hug minutes after meeting me. That was pretty special.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wrote and every piece of advice people have given me because of it, and I think you’re on to something when you said there might be something to gain from a world of McDonald’s capitalism, risky securities trading, and capabilities deprivation. I’m not absolutely closed to opportunities I’ll encounter in the “real world.” I guess I’m just trying to trying out a more cautious eye and see where I land. Swimming around one extreme could be so tempting sometimes. I try not to. I try to remember to be relevant always.
And I hope I never stop, too. I hope I’m never silenced.
You’re asking the right questions! But don’t forget that life is best LIVED, not pondered on — mistakes and all.
I agree with you there. Mistakes can be the hardest teachers, but they’re worth going through.
Hey it’s okay. People react to life events differently and so woe to you who judges this blogger for you seem to already know what to do with your Ateneo education/diploma. Or I don’t know it was as you said blunt. Just too harsh. Anyways, I feel you, the writer of this blogger. And I’ll be biased yes to say that the world does need you. Yeah it’s idealistic! Put your self in the shoes of the people you think you would be able to help. What do they need? What do they want? Love? Justice? Yes it’s not enough to be just corporate. Come on! You could have been in another place right? You could have not been an Atenean. We could have not been Ateneans because of the injustice in this world. Am I bordering on something else now that is far from capitalism? An alumni told that this thorn of yours is what makes an Atenean an Atenean in the workplace. So we can expect more thorns and dilemmas ahead.
Isipin mo, gusto mo halimbawa mawala ang street children. Mawawala ba sila sa simple deeds? Would their lives change just because we gave the street children of Katipunan some coins? No, it’s in the system and structure of the world. The structure needs to be change and that’s even more than choosing the right career that will balance out yourself and others.
How about asking God for discernment? They said the Ignatian retreat helps. Hope you signed up!
Hmm. Ignatian retreat. That sounds very promising. I’ll look into it. Thank you for the suggestion, Margaret.
Hi batchmate isang sagot lang diyan alamin mo ano gusto mo. Problema kasi satin kung ayaw ang ulam sa bahay ang bilis umiyak. dami iniisip. di na siguro ako love ni mommy o baka mahal na beef o siguro di marunong si ate magluto. chillax. punta ka sa mcdo dun ka kumain. sarado? Edi hintayin mo bumukas. Ayaw mo hintayin bumukas? edi magskyflakes ka muna hintayin mo bumukas.. or maggoogle ka tas ikaw nalang magluto. Wala ka pambili? eh ipon ka muna. saka ka na umiyak pag hangin yung nilapag sa hapagkainan me sayad na talaga pamilya mo nun pero hangat me kanin sa mesa its either wag ka kumain o maghanap ka ng iba
Excellent essay. If I were your father, you are one child I will certainly not worry about. Knowledge is given to an inquisitive mind. Wisdom is gained from experience. Only prayers will lead one to the right direction, so our Jesuit mentors always say. I think you will do well. Cheers and may God bless you always!
WIld dose of reality bobo.
Hmm… your sentiments sounds like two of my colleagues just before they graduated from our Alma mater. One of them is my female friend in the Ateneo who is now a social entrepreneurship with a partnership with Gawad Kalinga, while the other is a male colleague who’s now making a social technology start-up in the university grounds.
Basing on your credentials, I would suggest that you become a social entrepreneur, since it is a job wherein profit and social responsibility kicks into place. The job is more like an advocacy to transform the less-fortunate into a better person by hiring them into your company. What differentiates them from mere capitalism is that the occupation is more focused on the humanistic development of the dignity of your associates, the poor and the masses, as they confront the market.
Or you can be a social technopreneur which focuses on selling the services of your technology to address societal, environmental and urgent concerns. The social technopreneur that I had in mind is more people-centric with the capital used to expand its services to society so that some day, even the poor will benefit from such technology. Usual technologies sold to their stakeholders, the poor, are usually derived from people-science which is usually the science of practicality upon imposed scarcity which surprisingly gives simple solutions.
Whatever your path is, I hope that you also try to adjust to your surroundings without sacrificing your ideals. I know your idealism had been your greatest asset after graduation but believe me, your sentiments as of the moment are just opinions coming from a neophyte to the world. I suggest that you try to experience more the real world by giving your best to apply to corporations in your bucket lists. I’m not saying that you take the job of your most loathsome company but try to assess how the working system works for different companies. The experience you gain in looking upon these companies, both in and out, might give you an idea on what your ideal vocation would be like. “Stay hungry, stay hurt and be willing to learn, even when learning them is not necessary as of the moment.” This paraphrased clause I derived from Steve Jobs’s graduation speech in Stanford University shows that life lessons still continues after graduation. The only difference is that the lessons are implicit and self-interpretative in nature. I hope that after graduation, you still abide to your cause.
Oh gosh A Wild Dose of Reality that’s why the entry is about cognitive dissonance! These are expressed thoughts that don’t need a solution too specific — they just need to be out there. These things need to be said before we lose any of the values we hold dear. That’s what Ateneans do —we think and we rethink and we try to see the depth in what we think about. It is both a curse and a blessing. You should remember that we’re not stuck in a rut just because we think, eventually we’ll go on but what we thought about before going on helps us make better choices. We HAVE to trouble ourselves with these things, otherwise we’ll be mindless, foolish robots who don’t make real changes in the world.
Before you start reading, what is written below is a respectful counterargument to the original blog. If you don’t care to go through it, please skip.
Hi there, whoever you are
Your post seems to be making waves ah. We’ve never met, but I was led to this blog by a friend. It’s well written and insightful, so I’m glad it did not fall on deaf ears.:)
I’m an Atenean also, graduated 2010. Like you, I can say that all those Philo and Theo classes did cut me deep. I must admit, being in the classes at the time, I really did feel like I wanted to make a difference. That the world was not fair, and that we have the power to change things. All these things are true naman talaga. You cannot deny structural sin. We see it all around. However, lo and behold, 2 years later I find myself working for a company very similar to Coke or Mr. Donut. I know I know, I may seem like a hypocrite for choosing this path instead becoming a Red Cross worker, or social entrepreneur, or joining the JVP. It would seem to shallow compared to all these, at least at face value. But that’s another thing that Ateneo taught me. Never take things at face value. With our Philosophy and Theology classes, we learned to delve deeper into things, become familiar with their inner workings, really think things through, and only afterwards be able to make any judgements. And while I admit, working for a consumer-centric company may seem shallow and inconsequential at first, I learned that it does in some have more positive effects on society and the human condition than most people give it credit for.
Of course, the most obvious, and first thing that I must mention is the fact that these companies create jobs. Thousands and thousands of jobs. These companies are the reason that many people have clothes, food, and shelter. These companies are the propellers of the world economy. And yes, we cannot escape the fact that because of these companies, some individuals are richer than others, but without these huge, organized operations, far far less people would be able to put food on their tables. Even those that don’t work for these companies are affected. The tindero by the street would have much lower sales if he didn’t have C2 or Chippy to sell. In turn, the palengke vendor from whom our said tindero buys his food from would lose 1 more customer if tindero didn’t have enough money to buy from him. And so on and so forth. Like the Lion King’s circle of life, kumbaga.
Another thing that these companies are able to provide are comfort and happiness to those that cannot afford more luxuries. You know the standards. Christmas without a certain drink is not Christmas. Best way to end a hard day’s work is with a bag of chips. Nothing feels as good in the summer as a cool shower with a bar of Safe Guard. Of course, most Ateneans would be able to afford Christmas with wine, end a day with a bowl of Cibo pasta, and plunge into the waters of Palawan for the summer, but of course, not everyone can afford that right? So what these companies do provide are simple pleasures that are just within reach. Things that help ease the stress of the daily grind. What’s more, these companies are able to provide them CHEAP. The higher volume you produce, the lower the cost per unit (most of the time at least). And since only these companies are able to produce in such high volumes, they are the only ones that can sell them at a price that the “common tao” can afford. And selling brief moments of happiness at only a 2% margin can’t be all bad, can it?
Another less tangible thing that these companies push is ambition. When people see things that they aspire to have, they work harder to have them. I love these success stories of secretaries that move on to be Sales officers. Or messenger boys that move on to become CEO’s. These instances happen more often than you think. And they are amazing to me, not just because they climbed up in the world, but because these people pushed THEMSELVES up. They did not wait for anyone to help them. What happened was that they saw opportunity in these companies, and seized it. These people used their own intelligence, resourcefulness to reach success, but the companies that they work for were the road.
Finally, these companies drive innovation, and innovation drives the world forward. True, great breakthroughs in technology come from individuals, but it is these companies that bring innovations to the world, and turn them into the norm. And when innovations become the norm, people cannot help but innovate some more. Think of all of the amazing things we are able to do in the world now. Start revolutions via text. Tell the world important stories via Twitter, like the case in Libya. Make the girl of your dreams like you just a little bit more because of that awesome perfume you’re wearing made by P&G. Our lives, the world the way we know it, these were all heavily shaped and influenced by companies that sell sugary water, by people that spent their days crunching numbers and ensuring healthy profits.
I admit though, there are companies that have strayed. Taken advantage of the poor. Turned other people’s difficult situations, and turned them into opportunities for themselves. You see these stories plastered over the news. But please do take note, this is not the way large companies are supposed to operate. That’s why they make the headlines. Because they are not part of the natural order of things. Most companies that you see in the job fair do have some sort of Corporate Social Responsibility program, and do not conduct as much shady business practices as the media would have you expect.
So before discounting working for big companies completely, you might wanna try it out first, and see for yourself. In no way am I saying that I am 100% correct, or that you will have the same perspective as me after you leave the company. But just try it out, and don’t despair over the whole “capitalist machine” that you’re being pushed into. Many of these companies have heart, because the people running them have heart as well. You never know. You might just be surprised.:)
Lots of comments here so i’ll keep this quick.
“Its all about what you make.”
Imagine yourself in an island and you’re the only person there. You can have as much money as you want but what you can have depends solely on your output.
You can add more people into the situation, but bottom line is that your output is what counts.
As to whether to join a company or prefer to do this solely on your own depends on the economics of where you’re located (you’ll most likely make more money being a business owner in the Philippines). But bottom line, you better believe in what you / your company makes.
That’s all! =)